Future Horizons and Free Advice

  Pictured above is my grandson, standing on the beach on Sanibel Island, staring across the horizon. He looks to be deep in thought. I want to believe he is having a philosophical moment, pondering his future, distant horizons of unlimited possibilities. But he is twelve and growing like the proverbial weed, there is a better than even chance he is thinking about food and where we will eat tonight. 

  I probably think about his future more than he does. At age twelve his personality is pretty set and from my perspective it’s a good one, caring and generous. Dogs are instinctively drawn to him; I take that as a good sign.
Free advice is dangerous to give as it is rarely well received, but I am buying dinner tonight, so he may listen.

  Where to begin? The transition from boyhood to becoming a man does not happen at a specific age or chronological point. It happens early for some and never for others. There is no guidebook or manual for this journey. Like most things in life, it is often messy and confusing. It is a stew made from relationships, character, learning, self-awareness, kindness, patience, self-control, and perseverance, among others. It is stirred together with experiences, successes, failures, and time. Done properly this topic would take volumes, following are just a few highlights, of things I would like to pass down.
. . . . . .
  1. Always be learning, always stay curious. Staying curious will be the closest thing you will find to the fountain of youth. It’s a big ol’ crazy world out there, packed with different people, cultures, ideas, music, food, literature, etc. Sample as much as you can and learn from everything … and not just once. At age 12 sushi may not appeal to you, at age 25 it might be your favorite. At 12 you might shake your head at be-bop jazz, at 30 you might be the drummer in a local group. You can’t know or experience everything, but there is enough to keep you busy your entire life.
  2. Accept that life is not fair … never has been, never will be. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people. You can’t control most things that happen to you, but you can control how you react to those events. When dreadful things happen (and they will) don’t give in to feeling sorry for yourself, and don’t take on a victim mentality (ever).
  3. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Develop the skill of self-awareness. As you grow and mature you will learn your strengths and your weaknesses. Think about the people you are most at ease with, chances are they are comfortable with themselves, they have learned that they are not perfect, neither are they losers. It’s likely that you also know people who feel the constant need to impress others or pretend to be something they are not. Learn that being yourself is a good thing, that God created you exactly as he wanted.
  4. Hard work beats luck every time. Hard work is hard, and there is no substitute. Demanding work can also bring joy and happiness. We don’t often think of hard work and happiness together, but nothing will give you a greater sense of satisfaction than setting a tough goal for yourself and achieving it.
  5. Just a few good friends. Aside from your family, your friends can be the biggest influence on the kind of man you will become. Choose wisely. Friendship like any relationship will take work (see point 4). A few solid friends are worth more than a hundred “friends” on any social media site.
  6. Walking among immortals. I can’t make this point half as well as C.S. Lewis, so I will just quote him, “There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal … it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit.” This was eye-opening for me. I don’t always succeed, but I try to view everyone I see, first as a child of God, before I make any snap judgments based on their looks, dress, speech, etc. You will never meet anyone who is 100% good or 100% bad, but everyone will have a story to tell and something to teach you.
  7. Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. I purchased a t-shirt with this quote for you a few days ago because I want you to remember this. There is a lot of wisdom to unpack in these nine words. Though this comes from William Shakespeare and not Holy Scripture, we all could do a lot worse than trying to apply this to our lives.

    I look forward to seeing the grown man you will become. Godspeed.
    Poppy

(I originally wrote this back in 2018, but recently updated the post for inclusion in an upcoming book)

The Man on a Spiritual Journey

Greek Orzo, Lemon, and Chicken Soup” was on the menu tonight. I had everything I needed except for chicken, which is important when you’re making chicken soup. Karsch’s Village Market is just a hop, skip, and a jump from the four-acre wood and the closest place to score a Rotisserie Chicken. In the hierarchy of human inventions, I would place Rotisserie Chicken only behind the wheel, moveable type, baseball, and Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony on the list of greatest ever inventions. Okay, technically baseball and Beethoven’s 9th are not inventions, but it’s my list and I can put anything in there I want.

I wound my way through the Windsor School complex (shortcut) and made a left onto Highway 61-67. For decades that highway was the main route running north and south through Missouri following the Mississippi River before Interstate 55 was built.

I hadn’t gone far when I passed a man walking on the shoulder of the road on my right heading north. That someone was walking along the old highway was not unusual or unexpected, but his man was unexpected by any standard. He was a man of color and in the first week of August he wore a black knit cap with an open top from which erupted a volcano of dreadlocks. Across his back was a bedroll and no less than eight to ten plastic grocery bags tied together in a cluster that somehow defied gravity.

I continued to the market on my Rotisserie Chicken quest.

It didn’t take me long to nap the chicken along with 3 or 4 impulse purchases. Heading home, I passed the man again; he was making substantial progress. I turned into the Windsor School parking lot for my shortcut then stopped the car. I rarely carry any cash these days and I tend to ignore panhandlers, not that I’m unfeeling (at least I tell myself that), but when someone holds up a cardboard sign at a highway interchange that reads … “Homeless vet, Hungry, Wife has cancer, Dog is sick.” I’m skeptical, and I rarely carry cash. But this man was not panhandling, and I had a ten-dollar bill.

I pulled the bill from my wallet and tucked it into one of the cupholders by the center console, made a U-turn and headed back to the man. He was now in front of the Imperial Animal Hospital. The shoulder of the road was wide at this stretch. I pulled alongside and rolled down the passenger side window, holding the folded ten-dollar bill between my index and middle fingers. “Maybe you can use this?” I asked.

He flashed a grin in the middle of a perfectly shaped mustache and beard that ended in a sharp point 3 or 4 inches below his chin. “Thank you,” he said, “but I’m on a spiritual journey and can’t accept money from anyone.”

This was not the response that I expected. I paused for a moment then said, “But it’s also a blessing to give.”

“It tis, it tis,” he replied with a thick Jamaican accent, “but if I accepted money from you, I would have to take it from everyone.”

I wasn’t sure I understood the logic, but there was no point in debating.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

I told him. He was in control of the conversation at this point.

“Can I pray with you?” he asked.

I’m a firm believer that you can never have too many prayers coming your way. I nodded in the affirmative.

He addressed the Creator, praying for my safety, protection, guidance, and wisdom. He prayed for my family and for their safety, protection, guidance, and wisdom. He prayed for 2 or 3 minutes. When he finally stopped, we both said, “Amen,” we fist-bumped, and he was on his way.

I checked my rearview mirror carefully before beginning my U-turn onto Highway 61-67. The last thing I wanted to happen was for someone to pray at length for my safety and protection, only to pull into the path of an oncoming car.

Thirty seconds later, I thought of all the questions I should have asked.

He knew my name, but I didn’t know his. What was his destination? How did he come to be walking along Highway 61-67 in Jefferson County Missouri of all places? Where will he sleep? He refused my money, but would he have broken bread with me? I would have been glad to sit on the curb and share a drumstick with him. Sadly, these were all questions that will remain unanswered.

Mimsy greets me enthusiastically at the door, she too is a fan of Rotisserie Chicken.

The last addition to the soup is a couple shakes of hot sauce. It sounds counter intuitive for chicken soup, but it doesn’t make it hot or spicy, but adds just a bit of umami or savory taste. Life, like soup, can be bland at times, but there are opportunities to add flavor to your day. It often comes with chance encounters with fellow travelers, the bagger at the grocery store wearing a t-shirt from your favorite vacation destination and a thirty second sharing of memories is exchanged. The guy with the tricked-out pickup who pulls next to you as you’re pumping gas, you sincerely compliment his truck, he beams and thanks you. And if you’re very blessed, you will have a man on a spiritual journey pray for you.

Poppy

Something Wicked This Way Comes

LordHaveMercy

May 24, 2022.
Evil entered the Robb Elementary School in Uvalde Texas. Evil can take many forms, sometimes it’s obvious, almost cliche-like: the Nazi concentration guard ushering hundreds of Jews and undesirables into the gas chambers, dad or stepdad abusing their own children, but often it is more subtle; the scam artist preying on the elderly, seeking to rob them of their life savings, those spewing hatred and vitriol on social media in some perverted dogma or twisted religious idea.  This time it came in the form of a deranged, demented 18-year-old armed with a rifle. An hour later 21 innocent people, children, and teachers are dead. We grieve as a nation, we struggle to understand, to wrap our head around how and why this is happening. Both political parties and all media channels, take positions, issue statements, and offer endless criticism and solutions without acknowledging that evil exists.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the globe, the war in Ukraine rages on with untold innocents killed and all but forgotten as this latest tragedy rolls onto our front porch. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn wrote, “What seems to us more important, more painful, and more unendurable is really not what is more important, more painful and more unendurable, but merely that which is closer to home.” The Ukrainian crisis in no way diminishes the horror that occurred in Uvalde, the causes are different, but the loss of innocent life remains tragic whether it’s one life or hundreds, every life is precious regardless of age, nationality, or religion.

Evil will never be a popular topic at a dinner party, it’s unpleasant and for the most part, we want to believe it doesn’t exist. If we acknowledge evil, it forces us to accept that it’s part of our existence, but out of our control. We want to believe that we are in control, that while things are not perfect, the next ordinance, law, or legislation will bring us closer to perfection and peace. History has taught us differently.

Ironically as it sounds there is a positive side to evil. The design of the universe and nature teaches us that where there is darkness there will also be light. Recognizing evil is not a loss of faith or condition of hopelessness but rather an embrace of something even more powerful. Romans 5:20 “…but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.”

I love this from Henri Nouwen, “But in the midst of all this pain, there is a strange, shocking, yet surprising voice. It is the voice of the one who says:  ‘Blessed are those who mourn: they shall be comforted.’ That’s the unexpected news: there is a blessing hidden in our grief. Not those who comfort are blessed, but those who mourn! Somehow, in the midst of our mourning, the first steps of the dance take place. Somehow, the cries that well up from our losses belong to our songs of gratitude.”

“Lord have mercy.” A short prayer, three simple words, a prayer of a contrite heart, acknowledging no goodness within us, and that God owes us nothing, but hearing a quiet voice saying, “My grace is sufficient not just for you, but all of my creation.”

The Joy of an Incoming Storm (and lack of control)

Storm2

Obviously, We don’t mean a tornado or damaging storm, but those sudden spring shifts in the weather, where a cold front moves in, and minute by minute the skyscape changes until the swirling dramatic clouds are replaced by a wall of solid grey, the rain descends as the wind whips the trees back and forth and they sway as if hearing the beats of distant samba drums. Here at the Four-Acre Wood, the back deck and the view of the valley below us provide a great perspective for that drama.

To be honest our favorite vista for incoming storms has been Sanibel Island and the view across the Gulf of Mexico. Unobstructed by trees, the demarcation of the approaching cold front is visible miles away. Suddenly you feel the temperature drop 10 or 15 degrees and at the same time, the wind picks up … gathering sand from the beach and blasting any exposed skin. Seconds later the rain arrives at a horizontal angle, pelting and stinging. The wind roars in your ears as you laugh, running for shelter, never feeling more alive.

Is part of that exhilaration an acknowledgment of a lack of control on our part?

We, humans, want to be in control. Intellectually we know that storms will be a part of our life, both in nature and emotionally, yet we plan, devise, plot, and worry endlessly …borrowing trouble from a future that has not yet occurred.

How much better if we could surrender control over things that we have no influence on and just say a simple prayer … “Lord, I’d love a life of ease, with no problems and no worries, but that’s not what you promised.  What you promised is that you would never leave us or forsake us … not through loss of job, divorce, financial hardships, or cancer. You play the long game, not through the pop-up storms of our life as painful as they may be, but through the eternal.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Vespers and Birthdays at the Four-Acre Wood

We are one day short from the middle of May. Okay, technically (since May has 31 days) a day and a half for all you sticklers to details. Let’s not quibble, it’s the middle of May. Winter has relinquished its hold on the northern hemisphere (at least in the midwest). Everything is green and growing, our weeds have never looked healthier. 

Today we celebrated the birthday of our youngest daughter (since we are being technical, one of two). It was a simple and relaxed meal. The convenience items were the store-bought birthday cake and the potato salad. The burgers, baked beans, and deviled eggs were homemade. Our two daughters and three grandchildren were in attendance, and no one complained, especially when it came time for cake and ice cream. It was a time to count your blessings.

Twilight descends on the Four-Acre Wood. The air softens, and the edges of the tree leaves begin to blur just slightly. The village of Kimmswick, so visible during the winter has now disappeared from view.

Vespers, a time of evening prayer, a time of reflection. The world’s problems and ours do not stop at twilight, but it is a time to set them aside. Our work is done, the day is done, and tomorrow holds the same promises that we held today.

Poppy

 

The Sparrow’s Nest

SparrowsNest

A sparrow selected our front door wreath last spring as a prime spot to build her nest. In her mind I’m sure the location made sense, it was sheltered from rain and inclement weather. That it was a high-traffic area was beyond her understanding. Every entrance and exit from the front door set the nest in motion causing her to fly away. Understanding the situation we took to entering and exiting through the breezeway door or the garage until the fledglings had literally, “flown the nest.”

Fast forward to 2022 and a newly designed spring wreath is hung on the front door, and yes, Mrs. Sparrow came back.  The wreath was removed before she could take out any building permits for a new nest. Several days later we noticed the front porch was strewn with twigs and bits of evergreen. There is a reason the term, “bird-brain” exists.  She chose the next closest spot to build her nest, the blades of the ceiling fan on the front porch.  Day after day she worked on her nest until the next stiff breeze caught the blades of the fan, spinning them and sending her nest architecture onto the floor of the porch.

“Can you build something in the corner of the porch, away from the door where she can build her nest in peace,” Susan asked?


Every day we are bombarded with news of war, violence, refugees, famine, and cruelty beyond imaging. Closer to home we watch as friends and family deal with issues that leave us feeling just as impotent as the events on the other side of the globe. Our world spins like the blades of the ceiling fan, scattering our feeble constructs and there seems very little that is in our control. Some days the best we can do is to offer a smile to a stranger, a kind word when a sharp word is our first thought, and build a little ledge for a sparrow’s nest.

Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O Lord of hosts, my King, and my God.  Psalm 84:3

Ledge